talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
