I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize