So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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