I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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