Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
