dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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