I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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