mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
