I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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