We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
