i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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