i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
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