First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
