Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
