You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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