Your tits are I can't wait for
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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