i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
