if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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