This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
