ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
