so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
