my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
