Apparently you make a good broom.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
