Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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