i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
