Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
