im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
where are my eyebrows?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
