I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
