Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Drunk is not a location!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
