Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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