can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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