I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
