marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
