My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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