2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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