garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's Friday. Sex?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
