i think i have herpe
just one?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
