is your mom at the bar?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
