The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
