thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
