she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
if only i could text you this smell
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
so much tequila, so little girl.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
