she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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