...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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