Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
