Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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