Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"

(763): View more from Minnesota

Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.

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(419): View more from Ohio

How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?

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(512): View more from Texas

dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf

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(408): View more from California

It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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(716): View more from New York

I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers

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(509): View more from Washington

Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".

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(315): View more from New York

Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?

(540): View more from Virginia

Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...

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(858): View more from California

- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.

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