took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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