He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
