Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
