I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
