i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
