I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
