are you still at the devil's house?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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