Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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