just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
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