): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
