I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
