haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
