He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
