Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
