can u get pink eye on your cock?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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