yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
